i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
