She said her name was "party"
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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