But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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