Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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