We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
