Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am midnight drunk by noon
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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