am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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