Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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