How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize