If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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