He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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