it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
