remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
pop tarts are not kleenex
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
