Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I didn't notice because vodka
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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