I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
