toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
