butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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