dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
