Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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