Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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