I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize