Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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