garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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