When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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