I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She bit a glass in half.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
