I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
