We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
