8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
