They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
