I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
