Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
