She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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