evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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