I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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