babies were throwing up all over the place
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
