She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize