just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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