I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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