He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
