I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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