I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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