Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
