I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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