Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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