The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
