U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
