She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Enjoy the penises
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
