I molested 6 butterflies tonight
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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