Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
