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• (734): View more from Michigan

  But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame

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• (805): View more from California

  He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex

  (949): View more from California

  How do you have pretend sex?

  (805): View more from California

  It was bad...so it was pretend

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.

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• (714): View more from California

  You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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• (254): View more from Texas

  What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.

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• (585): View more from New York

  When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it

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