These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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