Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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