I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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