He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
