I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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