Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
