This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
