My first STD was from a foam party
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize