im having a threesome with these popsicles
My balls are so social today.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
